It was August 28, 2008

So we got married yesterday.

I feel different because now I am officially WIFE.
I feel different because now when I refer to him as my HUSBAND he actually IS.
I feel excellent as I look through the beginnings of our pictures and see how beautiful we are.

We are perfectly together.

One womans heart

I truly enjoy serving my man.

Some women don’t, and that’s "ok" for them, grrrreat for them; but I do.

I like to hand him the fork that will nourish him.

I like to anticipate his need for a napkin!

As I fold the napkin between my fingers and hand it to him I visualize what it is going to feel like as it brushes over his mouth and cheeks. Lucky little napkin.

Some women feel that to serve their man is to be subservient and lowers themselves and that in itself is good reason for them not to do it! (If you ask me)

I don’t feel that way at all.

I hate folding laundry, HATE it, but not his.

I love to touch the things that will touch him, I LOVE him and I love to think loving thoughts as I fold or hang the shirts that will hang off his shoulders. Shoulders that are there to love me and keep me warm and hold me close and offer me protection. I don't need to be protected but I need his shoulders. .. shoulders that belong to a real man, a strong man, a man to admire; and I do.

I don’t bunch socks, I refuse, I throw them in a laundry basket and don’t think to them again, he knows that- but once in a while I’ll bunch some for him since I know he hates rummaging through the sock basket trying to find matches.

As I stack them in his drawer I think to myself how he knows I don’t do socks, he knows it and he may look at that little pile of bunched up socks in his drawer and feel loved every single morning until they run out, because I took the time to bunch them up and put them there for him.

I also think to myself that even if he doesn’t feel the way I mentioned whenever he opens his sock drawer, I will.

I will.

And it feels beautiful to love someone like that.

I want him to feel really good.

Some women don’t think it is important for their man to feel good, they actually feel threatened somehow by him feeling good about himself and that’s fine for them but I know better.

I know that the best man to be with is a healthy, fulfilled, loved and happy (sexy) man (gotta have sexy) who doesn’t second guess himself or those around him but is filled with the assurance of his following- filled with the assurance that his dreams are important.

That is the kind of man I share my life with!

Some women are just missing out on all the fun.

Is this not rediculous? -OR- Ewwww?

Free lotion (Overland Park)

---

Reply to: 77654558@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-11, 2:05PM CDT


I have a TRAVEL size bottle of Jergens Ultra Healing lotion that I do not need any longer. It says it's 1 ounce but I would guess there is half a tube left. I bought another kind and do not need this, but I hate to throw it away. Thanks!



(Brought to you via copy/paste straight from Craigslist freebies- Kansas City!)

FOUND IT!

On the morning of July 30'th, year 2008 I entered my closet to open our "vault" in order to review the important July/August events of our early relationship because when we were chatting in the dark before falling asleep we were trying to pin point what of importance had actually occurred between us on July 28'th- which it turns out, after review, was pretty much nothing other than me asking him out.

But the 27'th! Ah, July 27' th!

Now that was the day we met face to face at the KCSingles BBQ event at Shawnee Mission Lake which is why I was asking him to meet me for coffee on July 28'th. ;)

Our "vault" is a thick notebook (pictured above) that is filled with all of the emails N and I shared during our first year of dating. I also printed off year 2 and 3 but haven't printed (nor deleted) any since then and so my current N INbox and SENT box combined, needing to be printed is somewhere around 8000 emails.

At any rate, when I opened our vault what did I see laying on top?
Our AIR SICK BAG!

Man!

I haven't been able to find it and have been looking for it everywhere, for months now!

Here it is:

Now, what IT is: The air sick bag is what I used to write on after the epiphany I had about how to figure out what our wedding date should be- the moment I opened the door from the airplane bathroom on a business flight I was taking to Texas several months ago.

We are getting married on a Thursday evening and everyone wants to know why.
Our air sick bag is why.

Here is how it began: We wanted to have a date that was significant to our relationship but we wanted to have our wedding in the spring or summer time. Our monthiversary is always on the 7'th of the month, so that would have been perfect, but my Mom and Dad left for Italy on June 6'th which wiped out the month of June and then my girls spend the summer with their Dad which knocked out both July and August 7'th. (Actually they are coming back a little earlier this year, so the 7'th would have worked, but I couldn't have known that then and I'm hardly ready now anyhow. )

SO anyway, the challenge was to come up with a significant date during these months, and there simply wasn't one.

Insert: Glorious Air Sick Bag!

So here is the break down lest I never have to try and remember it all to explain it again:

1. At the time of initiation it was nearly our 4 year anniversary, (48 months) so based on that upcoming significant event I wrote down the date:

12 07 07

I added those numbers together

1+2+7+7 = 17

2. But 17 is a double number so you have to add it together again to get a single number- which I did.

1+7 = 8

Thats how I got the month of August (8)

3. Then I thought "Hrmmm.... I wonder how many months it'll be from our anniversary until August?"

So I counted it up and from December to August was 8 months

4. So I added the 8 months between December & August, plus our 48 months anniversary
(see #1)

48+8 =56

5. But 56 is a double number so I had to break it down to a single number

5+6 = 11

6. But, you guessed it, 11 is a double number so I had to break it down too.

1+1 =2
Thats where I got the number 2 in our wedding date from.

7. Then I wrote our first and middle names as they will be when we are married.
For me, when I get married my maiden name becomes my middle name.

8. So Nicholas had 12 letters (1+2= 3)

9. I had 14 (1+4=5)

I took both of our numbers and put them together

35

3+5 = 8

Thats where I got the other 8 from and now I had our wedding date because I knew we were getting married in 2008.

10. Then, just to "check" myself, (as if I actually could) or out of curiosity since I had been diddling with all of these mysterious numbers I decided to see what I would get if I added up our date.... so I did.

8+2+8+08 = 26

11. Which of course is a double number, so you know what to do-

2+6= 8

Which somehow just seemed really right to me.

12. Then I looked up the date and it turned out is was a Thursday- who gets married on a Thursday? No one apparently, but I thought to myself that if I went to that length to find a date of significance for us to marry each other on, and found one, we should just do it that day and not wait for a Saturday and so thats just what we did!

One thing that July 28'th DID represent was the exactly one month until our wedding count down. Every day since then it has been less than a month until we are getting married.

WOW!

And there you have it.

AN ODE TO TEXAS : Notice my cool photography Dad! Taken yet again from my Olympus FE-100.. eat your heart out :)

Went to Texas this week for work.
Houston to be exact.
I went with my bossS and one of my co managers, "B" because we had a conference to go to.
We rented a Garmin GPS when we picked up our rental car to help us get around.
It would have been an excellent tool had I been able to find the "Enter Address" option sooner.

Ummm - yah.

The three of us had frozen margaritas at Chili's and retired back to our hotel rooms. Mine had a HUGE bed with a posh down comforter that looked lumpy from a distance and would have been so much more fun if N was there to enjoy it with me- but we chatted on the phone together he and I and that wasn't bad. I'm happy for technology.

One thing I didn't "get" about being in Texas was the lack of air conditioning....
What the hell?
I really didn't understand it at all.
It seemed like in the appendages of every building I was in there was nothing but stuffy Texas heat. That also included our airplane and a long delay we shared together on our runway waiting to get to Dallas.

Highlights of my trip:

• We all caught not one but 2 stand by flights and got home probably 3 hours earlier than we were supposed to!

• My co-manager "B" passing the air sick bag down to my bossS every time the turbulence scared her a little bit.

• My bossS telling us that she noticed there were 4 holes in the wall in her room where a picture should have been hung, it was creepy and she was afraid someone might be watching her through them.. but then she figured out there were little peg things in each of the holes and felt better about it.
  

• Playing Guitar Hero on the DS when we were finally allowed to turn our electronics on and getting a bad score because I haven't played for a few weeks and then loudly grumbling "Argh!#*%" (not swearing, just grumbling) but having B and BossS think I didn't know I was being (a little) loud, or could hear them with my headphones in and so doing it again "ARGH&#!" while they squirmed in their seats saying, shhhhh your being loud.... (hehe) I'm a rebel.
  

• We were a little lost trying to find the locale for our conference but we thought maybe we found it even though the address didn't match up. B was driving and she pulled up to the door telling me to hop out and see if we were in the right spot- which I did. As I went to pull the door open I found out the doors were not only automatic, but opened very quickly with a little gust of (surprisingly) air conditioned air (I work for a good company) which blew my hair back dramatically as I stood there int he door. It all startled me, particularly the doors, so I just sort of stood there with my hair blowing back as the doors opened the rest of the way, but there were folks there at the front desk and they were staring at me SO- I smiled BIG, spread my arms and said "ta da!" which made them (and me) laugh and they confirmed we had indeed found the spot we were looking for.

Comical Low Lights:

SO, B and I drove together to the airport. I parked the car, pulled my brief case and my little over night carry on out of the trunk, sling my purse over my shoulder and start to shut the trunk and all of a sudden I gasp, mid-trunk-shut as I realize that they are going to count my purse as another bag- so I can't take it. Argh!
There I am quickly trying to transfer my important purse stuff into my overnight bag, while stuffing important things like my wallet and my boarding pass and my gum into places where I'll be able to find it all. ACK!
All of a sudden I went from the cool traveler woman which I AM to a scattered woman.
Totally.
Scattered.
Egads.
I start to walk away and B points out that my car door is still open, (ARGH) I shut it and freak momentarily because I'm not sure where I stuck my keys... long story short, eventually I have it all together and we walk away from my car and into the terminal where as we pass through security I break the nail on my right middle finger which I grumble about to the female security guard who smiles at me knowingly until I hold the finger up for her inspection and say:
"It's not like it's a big deal... it's just that now I have a weapon."

I realized what I was saying as soon as I was saying it, sometimes I can really be a dip shit, but the security guard raised her eyebrows, smiled, and I put my shoes on and headed to find my bossS. Finally there I recap for my bossS the events from car to terminal, B is nodding her head, rolling her eyes and confirming it all as I talk and goes on to tell more about my disorganization as I sigh and pull out my phone to call N, phone to my ear and then on my shoulder until I could get situated I bent over looping my arm through the handles of my brief case and stood to swing it over my shoulder and as I did that both of the back straps on either side of the bag snap and it all falls to the ground.

The man sitting in front of us, who had heard/evesdropped on my original story to bossS says : Is she really riding on this plane?

God....

When we stopped in Dallas B tried to "help" (mock) my plight with my brief case by tying the two remaining handles in a knot for me so that I could once again hold my brief case on my shoulder. Which I did for a while, though every time I turned my head one of the stray strap ends would rub against my cheek. (But I thought that was funny)

24 hours later when we were going back through Dallas and bossS was getting our boarding passes -to my surprise- the other two straps suddenly snapped off!
We all laughed as I crammed the faulty straps into the nearest trash can and carried my brief case the rest of the trip like a girl carries her books through the hall between classes and since I have arms and legs that still work perfectly, all was good in my world.

I was soooooooooooooooo wrong!

Red Lobster Caesar Salad Dressing

3 anchovies
1 teaspoon chopped garlic
2 teaspoons red wine vinegar
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 coddled egg yolk
5 dashes Worcestershire sauce
1/2 squeezed lemon
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup parmesan cheese

Using a medium size wooden salad bowl, mash and spread the anchovies and the garlic with a fork and rub the inside of the bowl with it.

Add the vinegar and mustard, blend thoroughly.

Using the fork, add the olive oil and the coddled (meaning to cook in simmering water for 1 minute) egg yolk.

Mix together and add the Worcestershire, lemon, pepper and parmesan cheese.

Note: Just a reminder, you add the lettuce & croutons to the dressing, not the other way round. Toss the salad until everything is coated with the dressing then serve in individual bowls. Red Lobster adds a lobster claw to their salad.

Source: Red Lobster Restaurant's recipe collection at www.redlobster.com

Sometimes love is mylar balloons



















Bouncing


around

above

me








First over the bed and now on the chair over my head








>kiss<








Sometimes love is getting 2 of just what you asked for, plus footy socks and fuzzy slippers with pom-pom balls, a wonderful plush, green, full body towel just for me, (!) an air freshener, lovely picture, funny card and a really cute bag~ but if any one ever asked you about love ahead of time, you wouldn't have thought to say it was all of that.

















Sometimes, love is the perfect comforter with matching pillow cases spread perfectly to display everything else with the first thing you see being your lover sitting in a chair in front of it all, but especially you, eagerly smiling, full faced and excited that your finally home to see all the thought and love they put into what they did for you.










After all, love is definitely all about having a safe place to plant your heart AND a perfectly formed pillow with which to do it!
(matching case included)




Love was made for discussions over crab dip and chips
or
maybe crab dip and chips was inspired by love?

Either way, it's certain that Red Lobster DOES use fish in their Caesar Salad.
Dammit.

It can be difficult to be wrong at any time of your life.

But it's good to be 38.

Someone Who Mattered

I just talked to my daughter and through hysterical sobs she told me that her Aunt Kori has just died and I feel really badly that she has. I haven't talked to Kori in many years, something like 11 I guess, since I got divorced, and I haven't missed her or really wanted to talk to her during most of the time that has passed.

That is, until this past year when I heard through the girls that she got sick and it was obvious she would not be getting better- then I started thinking about her and wondering about her and empathizing for the deep painful hurt she must feel over the unchangeable events of her life that were coming to pass and there were moments where I really wanted to call, but I didn't want to call too and so I didn't.

There were many moments through listening to the girls talk through their concerns with her sickness that I put my heart in her spot and thought about how much it would hurt to be so sick and dying at this still early part of life, leaving your kids and your husband and your family and your life and unable to stop it now that it has all gone so far, even though this should have been one of the greatest times of her life- finally watching all of your hard work come together in the form of a young adult whom you have raised and greatly loved, racing off to the adventure of their own lives and the excitement of the new life you and your husband get to have now, just the two of you while your kids chase their dreams...

What a shame.

Kori wasn't ever somebody that I would have been fast friends with, she wasn't, she was a little intimidating to me, I thought she was kindof mean to my brother in law, (whom I respected a lot for his kindness) when she didn't have to be, and the way she drank and acted sometimes made me feel uncomfortable, sometimes. I wondered if it was 'ok' to write that, but I think it is. When I first heard that she was sick I felt reeeeally angry to hear it had all gone so far, angry for her family and for her and angry for the ugly last days and feelings that would now become a part of my own children's existence but what is the point of feeling angry with someone you don't even know and an unchangeably sad situation. So instead, I just wondered.

Still, at one time Kori was somebody who I spent time with, empathized with, struggled near, confided in, listened to and cared about what happened in her life and to her children who I also cared about and now know only through their struggles, as I have her. At one time in our lives I knew her through each of my pregnancies and births, I shared babysitting with her and gossiped with her, cooked Thanksgiving for her, her friend drove me to the emergency vet when our dog got hit by a car and needed to have his leg amputated and I felt comfortable sitting on her couch in my socks with no shoes and helping myself to ice from her freezer without asking, back when we lived close together and called each other family and were up to date on the events of each others lives.

I guess thats what I wanted to say, I just wanted to say to nobody in particular, that Kori was just a couple years older than me, with just as many kids as me and she was someone I knew at one time, in fact, she was my sister in law, and even though we weren't best friends or even likely friends at the time, rather, we were thrown together by happenstance and even though we haven't spoken in 11 years and I really hadn't cared to, Kori was a woman who mattered to my life a long time ago and it matters to me today that she has died, even if it doesn't make much sense that it would and I wish she could have lived a much longer, stronger and happier life and I'm sorry that my children no longer will tell me they "went to visit Aunt Kori and Uncle Ray this weekend," and I'm deeply sorry for her husband and his family who will miss her so much.

OVER SALAD

So we are eating lunch at Red Lobster and the waiter brings us all out our salads.

Meg and Ash get Caesar salads and Nicholas and I get the regular salads, him with Blue Cheese and me with Ranch. A couple of bites in and the conversation goes like this:

Ash: Is there fish in Caesar salad?

Nicholas and I: Wha? No, no.

Me: Why?

Ash (matter of factly with a shrug) : I was just wondering what kind of fish there is in Caesar salad cuz my breath always smells like fish after I eat it.

Nicholas and I (lauhing loudly) : There's NO fish in Caesar salad!

Meg: Mom says there is.....

MEmercials!

It is amazing to me the way this particular scrunching spray can re-create with your nose hairs, a frosty, well below freezing morning just by accidentally inhaling slightly as you spray your hair....

It is my opinion that Aussie Scrunching Spray works a lot better than most regular hair sprays at freezing your hair in place... and isn't that what we are going for?









Dean & Deluca

I love shopping at Dean & Deluca!



I was just there buying our dinner, like, a day ago- and as I strolled out to my car in the warm dusky sunshine- simple, crisp white Dean & Deluca bag with two, clean, paper wrapped roast beef sandwiches topped by horseradish sauce, sharp cheddar cheese and several big chunks of zuchini squash gingerly nestled between two pieces of rosemary and olive oil bread inside, swaying back and forth with my stride....

Past lovely people, couples mostly, quietly picnicking at the little round tables that are sprinkled around Dean & Deluca with a light breeze blowing relaxing waves through the tree's branches that were gently bobbing over head and creating dappled and fleeting shadows on the pavement as I walked; all of which, along with my terrific thirst, inspired my first glorious sip of blueberry tea. Ahhh.

Blueberry tea.


Finger tips to door handle I paused to take it all in, just a moment longer, before swinging my bag into the front seat and retiring to my own seat to sip more blueberry tea from above my steering wheel.

Looking out the windshield at the swaying branches and sunlight playing off the heads of the quiet people in front of me- this is what I thought:

"EVERYTHING is sooo over priced at Dean & Deluca-
MAN!

It's really funny to me that I don't mind paying $30. for 2 sandwiches and a 12 ounce bottle of tea.

It's the wrappers....

Has to be.

The plainly wrapped specialty items call out to me as if they were designed just for me and even though I am paying $5. for a plastic bottle of blueberry tea, I walk out feeling really good about myself anyway and I savor every expensive drop that I feel good about buying."











LOL!




Nicholas got us tickets to go and see Missy Higgins for my Birthday.
It's not my Birthday yet and the concert is after my Birthday but it is an EXCELLENT Birthday present! We saw Missy Higgins playing live at Homers music store in Omaha. She was playing a key board and singing to a small crowd and we were just getting ready to head back home so I bought her cd and we listened to it most of the way home and have loved her ever since and I am VERY excited to get to go to her concert! If you haven't checked her out yet- you should!



























Forecast is: Avocado BLISS!


It seems to be yummy avocado season again!

Hoorah!

I am a self proclaimed avocado addict and all of the avocados I have purchased and eaten in the past two weeks have been incredible. They are mellow, with a hearty avocado-y nuttiness when they have reached perfect ripeness that is a state of avocado which I long for during the GOOD avocado droughts throughout most of the rest of the year.




Run buy a beautiful Avocado today! You'll be happy you did~





Positive Mood Tip #62



If you are over weight and want to stay in a positive mood:

DO NOT GO TRY ON CLOTHES THAT YOU THINK MIGHT LOOK CUTE ON YOU.





Just don't.



It'll help.




Positive Mood Tip #63



It turns out if you are overweight and wear a black t-shirt with a large boom box placed directly over your breasts it is actually somewhat slimming.





Try it!

It'll help.



The following are pics of our amazing yard mushroom.
One day it was a little teeny- though perfectly shaped yard mushroom that was growing in a line of mushrooms, just ahead of two others along the side of our house- pretty close to the back yard.

No more than a day later it had blown up into this Grand daddy whomper of a mushroom that I will share with you in the pictures to follow:




Isn't he lovely?


Don't my pictures look professional?





Here, I'll post more~



I was telling Nicholas, that it was too funny to me that when I pulled up into our driveway, home again from my trip to get my eye brows waxed and find the "perfect" little salsa dancing tank top; I saw that there was an adorable baby bunny hiding out from the rain, underneath our amazing yard mushroom.




I had intended for about the past 24 hours to get outside and make sure that I took a picture of our amazing mushroom before it got all shriveldy somehow or we had to mow it up. Imagine my satisfaction at doing so!

Please ignore the tall strands of grass in the picture (by the way) interestingly, the length the grass is actually an illusion created by the amazing mushroom itself; making it look as if our grass is longer than it truly is....

Note in the bottom right picture blow, how the amazing mushroom closely resembles a flying saucer. Unsettlingly close similarity...

There has been a great deal of speculation in recent days that it may be because of this similarity that the amazing mushroom has lassoed the ability to increase the look and texture of ordinary yard grass.

Amazing.

Fact:
When I went outside to take these pictures both of our neighbors across the street and next door were outside and they all said "hello" to me as I carefully made my way around the corner of our house.

Fact: I responded by saying "hello" to all 4 of them and then I told them what I planned to do by taking a picture of our mushroom. I also smiled.

Fact: The neighbors across the street then asked: "Is that a real mushroom?"
To which I responded: "You bet it is."

Something about God that makes sense to me

"All talk of human beings being one with God and one with each other has been labeled fluffy, "new age," or out of touch with reality. Some have even called it apostasy. We are told that everything that humanity has been taught about God says that God is separate from humanity. God wants to be separate, because humanity in its present form is not worthy of unity with God. That is the teaching. That is the message.

God is Perfect and humanity is imperfect, and the Perfect cannot be united with the imperfect. This is an integral part of most human theologies.

So the imperfect must find a way to be Perfect. Yet that way cannot be found, because perfection is impossible to achieve in human form. Some religions even teach that humans are born in a state of imperfection, and so there is that problem going in. Other faiths say that humans may be born without blemish, but the task is to remain without blemish. All religions agree that on the journey of life there are temptations to which human beings fall prey. And so, perfection is pretty much out of reach for most.

Still, one must try. One must strive. And if one strives for perfection, God will reward that effort with a final act of Grace, rendering the imperfect Perfect Once Again. Then, reunion with God in heaven can be achieved.

This is another simplification, yet it comes very close to summarizing the doctrine of most religions.

And so, there appears to exist a dichotomy. God wants humans-indeed, has caused humans-to be separate from God. Yet God has given humans a "way back home" because What God Wants is for humans not to be separated from God.

Hmmmm.

Now the unaskable question must be asked.

IS this What God Wants?

And the answer is, no.

This answer changes everything. With it, the forward edge of human thought takes on new sharpness, and cutting through confusion becomes possible once again.

God does not want Oneness, with humans or anything else. God ISOneness, and God does not want what God is already experiencing

Human beings claim they want Oneness with God and with other humans. Yet humanity cannot experience what humanity already has if it denies that it has it.

This is the answer to another mystery: Why has it been so hard for the world's people to experience Oneness with God, or with each other?

You cannot experience what you are unwilling to express. You cannot get to where you already are. By the very act of leaving, you deny that you have arrived at where you want to go. Given this belief, you can never experience being there. Your life will become a constant journey. It will be a journey to nowhere. It will be an endless search. A search for what is already there.

Looking for your glasses when they are on top of your head, you'll not find what you are searching for. You'll only find what you are searching for when looking into a mirror.

So far, humanity has not been very good about looking into mirrors. Introspection is not humanitys long suit. Having read this far, you've proven yourself to be the exception.

Why have humans denied their Oneness? Because humans have confused oneness with sameness. We have not understood that no two fingers are alike, even though all are on one hand.

Afraid of losing individuality, desperately fearful of disappearing their own identity, human beings have tenaciously clung to their illusion of separation from each other, from all things in life, and from God. Especially from God. For if humanity is not separate from God, not only do people fear losing their individual identity, oneness with Deity suggests a whole new way of acting, a whole new way of being, for which religions have left humans woefully unprepared.

Yet it is not necessary to prepare yourself to love. Love is what you are, and so, loving comes naturally to you. Stopping yourself from loving is what is hard. Love of everyone and everything in life comes easily when fear of anyone or anything disappears. And fear of anyone or anything disappears when you realize that you don't need anything from anyone or anything, because everything you thought you needed to get from something or someone outside of yourself is available within you.

Now the circle completes itself, and you are Whole. Now, all that you find within you, you can give to others, who may not yet know that they are Whole as well.

Showing another that they are lovable is the fastest way to assist them in finding wholeness, in finding the love that is within themselves. When you love others you quite literally give people back to themselves.

In the end, love and fear are the only feelings there are. Life brings you a constant stream of opportunities to choose between the two."

Written by: Neale Donald Walsch

(Thank you)

For my Madre~

Because if I post them she will make us lovely flowers....




Bridesmaid dresses - Megs in the middle



This color of the sash/ribbon matches the dangly beads in the clip...




This is the hair clip which I am going to make into a part of my veil.
(As long as doing so won't jack it up)



This is the best shot of it in the light.