WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR BETTER HALF WANTS YOU TO STOP PLAYING VIDEO GAMES...

by Alixandria Knight

If you care about your relationship, what can you do when your significant other requests you to stop playing games other than to stop everything and have a conversation with the intention of really getting something sorted out or quit playing all together?

The root of the problem isn't "the game" anyway, so help your mate identify what the trouble really is, within them; and try to be an open listener. At some point it would be a good idea to really let it all sink in and figure out your part and what you are or aren't doing that is contributing to the problem so that you can adjust your behavior.

It's safe to say that every relationship is different and so the proper way to respond to your spouse will vary but here are a couple of DEFINATE DON'TS to remember when your spouse has asked you to discontinue your gaming.

1. The avid gamer often validates the radical amount of time they spend gaming by proclaiming it as an escape. Bad move. You can guarantee that while your spouse was washing dishes, vacuuming, cooking and driving, yes even in the middle of their favorite show they have played this phrase over and over in their head all the while wondering what you think you are escaping from and usually reaching the conclusion that at least subliminally, you are seeking escape from them. They further figure that you are too dumb to reach this conclusion on your own. Avoid using this phrase.

2. Don't bother playing the guilt card. If you truly felt bad or actually felt you were doing something wrong, then being the caring partner you are you would obviously respond by changing your behavior. Since you know, and your spouse knows, this isn't the case; just leave it alone. It'll help.

Try to keep in mind going into the conversation that your spouse sincerely wanting your attention, in itself, is not a bad thing and it is an all too normal response in this day and age to want what we cannot have. So cut them some slack. After all, you already have most of what you want. And you'll be batting 1000 once you get your spouse on board!

Your spouse is acutely aware that there is a pretty good chance whatever you are doing with them, you would really rather be playing. The average spouse does not truly want to spend time with your body while your mind is on the game. The only exception to this statement, of course, is if your sex life has moved into the seriously deprived category. During these droughts who needs your mind anyway?

Help your spouse begin to identify things that are really of interest to them that they may have been putting off or let take a back burner for one reason or another. Remind them how important it is to take time to nourish their own soul, because if your spouse is busy doing something that they truly enjoy they won't be near as worried about what you are doing and will feel much better in the bargain. It also won't hurt to remind your spouse how little they really want you to begin dictating to them how they will spend their time.

Here are a couple of perks you might want to point out to help your spouse feel better about being married to a gamer.

1. No pressure. You aren't going to pressure your spouse about doing anything because you want to draw as little attention to yourself as possible anyway. If your spouse puts off chores for a couple of days, it'll be no skin off your nose.

2. Your spouse can now be a total control freak with no ramifications so long as you aren't bothered while you are playing that is. Even if you don't like the new set up in the family room you aren't going to notice it until you are passing it on the way to the front door in the morning anyway and by the time you get home you'll just be making a B-line for the computer anyway. That is practically total freedom a benefit that many other spouses all over the world are not able to enjoy in the same special way.

3. As long as you are happily playing your spouse has an unlimited amount of time to pursue whatever their heart desires, unfettered, unhindered.

4. Your spouse always knows where to find you. You aren't out at the bar or blowing wads of money at the casino or putting your life on the line being a dare devil. You are there at home, you look up with a loving smile, you are able to share kisses and hugs and nod when spoken to. These are all good things.

Most of all try to respond to your spouse and treat them the same way you would want to be treated if you were the one dealing with some pretty heavy emotions and abandonment issues. Your spouse just loves you.....
Or at least they did before you started playing video games.