Do you ever?

When I was waiting in the drive through line at Hardee's this morning, I accidentally let my debit card slip off my lap to fall between the seat and the console in my car so that only the corner of the card was sticking up and I had to try and fish it out of there with the tips of my fingers which only proved to shove it further down and out of my reach.

So then I could see my debit card, but now it was flat against the carpet and in a skinny little narrow place which I couldn't comfortably jam my fingers into... I could jam them mind you, but not comfortably.

*&%#@!

When my card got stuck like that I thought to myself that I would just have to wait to get it out when I would be able to actually get out of the car, bend over and have a straight shot to fish it out from under the seat. It was in that moment I asked myself:

"What if this was a life and death situation and the only way I could save my life would be to get that debit card out, from this particular uncomfortable position I am now sitting in?"

Which is a question I tend to ask myself a lot in similarly unimportant situations and I have noticed that I started playing this game a lot with myself since I quit smoking.

This now evolved line of thinking helped me a lot to quit because in moments of distinct weakness my last question of myself was always:

"OK.... sooooooo what? Would I actually DIE if I couldn't have a cigarette?"

On the heels of which I would envision myself pitifully writhing in pain and agony over not having one- the thought of which, in turn, would cause my extremely prideful self to become outraged at the very idea of being so pitifully weak and mentally I would move on; without a cigarette.

I don't need to do that anymore, but at the time, I never would have imagined this way of thinking would have carried on anyway and I rather enjoy it. Today when I did I paused to wonder if other people play this same game with themselves?

In moments when I am ready to give up on a situation I picture myself in a cell or trapped in a chamber or some other ominous situation and I ask myself "What if my life depended on whether or not I could get this card, toothpick, key etc.?"

The answer is always that I would try a lot harder, be a lot more careful, do away with the thought that it could not happen, give up on the thought of getting frustrated, put away the thought that I can't or it can't be done because what is the alternative? It is my life!

It is also interesting to note the way it feels when I really do fail, when I accidentally shove the card too far out of reach with my pinky finger while I am trying to fish it out for example- when I fail and I have to acknowledge to myself that in that particular imaginary instance I was a goner....